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Relationship Violence

Relationship violence includes actions or words that cause a former or current partner or family member to feel fear or intimidation. While it’s sometimes mistaken as a person being “out of control”, these actions or words are often used by a person who is trying to have power and control over another person.

Relationship violence can include a number of traumatizing behaviors, such as:

  • Physical Violence: hitting, slapping, kicking, choking, pushing, punching, biting, restricting someone’s airway or beating.
  • Verbal Abuse: constant criticism, mocking, yelling, swearing, interrupting, or not responding to what a person is saying.
  • Sexual Violence: forcing sex on an unwilling partner, demanding sexual acts a person does not want to perform, sharing sexual images or videos without consent, threatening retaliation if a person does not concede to sexual behaviors, or sexually degrading treatment.
  • Isolation: making it hard for a person to see family/friends, monitoring phone calls, controlling where a person goes, or taking away their car keys or mobility devices.
  • Coercion: making a person feel guilty, manipulating family members, or making up impossible “rules” and punishing a person for breaking them.
  • Harassment: following or stalking, embarrassing a person in public, constantly checking up on a person, or refusing to leave when asked.
  • Economic Control: not allowing someone to access their own money, for example by monitoring, shaming or being angry about their spending, even for purchasing things for basic needs; preventing the person from working or refusing to work or contribute financially to a partnership; interrupting their ability to complete class assignments, or go to class or study groups.
  • Abusing Trust: lying, breaking promises, being unfaithful, or being overly jealous.
  • Threats and Intimidation: threatening to harm a person, family members, pets, shouting, using physical size, blocking someone’s access to leave a space, brandishing weapons or gesturing acts of violence.
  • Emotional Withholding: not expressing feelings, not taking a person’s concerns seriously, or not respecting a person’s feelings.
  • Destruction of Property: destroying furniture, punching walls, breaking dishes or destroying a person’s personal belongings.
  • Self-Destructive Behavior: abusing drugs or alcohol, driving recklessly, or threatening suicide or self-harm.

Source: The Idaho Coalition’s publication “It shouldn’t hurt to go home.”