Isabel Hauber was born and raised in Boise and is a Psychology major at Boise State University. When not spending time outdoors, she enjoys creating art and cooking.
The vision of the School of Public Service includes empowering students to “become innovative and responsive public service leaders within local, state, national, and global communities.” With this vision in mind, the Blue Review occasionally publishes work, such as this article, by Boise State students.
30 April, 2020
It certainly has been a crazy semester. After graduating from high school last spring, I had so many thoughts and ideas about my first year of college. I dreamt of the parties, the new friends I would make, the freedom I would have. That being said, I definitely didn’t dream of COVID-19 turning my world upside down.
When New Year 2020 hit, I couldn’t have been more excited. I had so many resolutions. From working out 3-4 times a week to journaling every day, I was determined to become the best version of myself I could be. 2020 was going to be my year! And it was, for the most part, for the first two months. The start of the spring semester was going well. It was a fresh start, I was finally getting into the groove of college courses, and I had just met some amazing people. I had learned a lot my first semester of college. I learned who my real friends were. I learned how to take control of my future. I learned what I wanted out of life. I learned what kinds of people I wanted to have and keep in my life. I learned so many things a young adult is supposed to learn, and I actually felt like I was growing up… Little did I know, 21 days into the first month of 2020, I would meet the love of my life.
I never believed in love. I always thought it was some hoax that only happened in fairy tales. All my life, I met boys, got to know them, realized they weren’t the one I wanted, ended things, and repeated the cycle with someone new. I had given up. I had one long term relationship that taught me a lot, but in retrospect, it mostly taught me what I didn’t want. Day in and day out, I saw my friends getting into these healthy relationships with guys who made them feel cared for and wanted, and my prince charming was yet to be found. Once 2020 hit, I wasn’t even remotely thinking about boys or relationships. I was focused on myself for once. I wanted to succeed in all facets of my life, and that’s what I put my mind to. A few weeks later, I hung out with an old girlfriend from high school, and she was living on campus. She had a couple of guy friends, and invited me to hangout with them one night. They were… different. To say the least. Diverse, if you will. California boys. Surfer boys. Skater boys. Long-haired, goofy, obnoxious, wildly attractive boys. I liked the tall blonde, of course. As days passed, we spent more and more time together. We would skip class to go on adventures, and I lost the motivation for school that I once had. Was he the bad influence? Was I? Was it us as a pair? Who knows. All I knew was that I needed to get my shit together. My grades slipped (except in UF of course. That was always my favorite). My parents worried where I was at night. My life was changing amidst the virus that none of us really payed much attention to.
One morning, I woke up, went to see my boy Nathan, and we decided things needed to change. We were going to motivate each other to do better. Step one was emailing our professors to figure out what we could do to salvage what we had built up from the beginning of the semester. Step two was dedicating time to homework and homework only. Step three was talking each other through the stresses of school. Finally, step four was the fun. My personal favorite. We could reward ourselves on the weekend for busting our butts through the week. Sometimes we may have rewarded ourselves too much. Nonetheless, we were making progress. Our relationship was growing stronger, and he was quickly becoming the best friend I had ever had.
One Friday night in March, we were all hanging out, and I heard my friends whispering about something concerning. They said classes were cancelled. I didn’t believe it. “No way” were the two words I continued to repeat… until I got the email. I ran to the bathroom and called my mom. It was at that point that we knew things were worse off than they had previously seemed. My mom told me not to worry, and that everything would go back to normal. I believed her, of course. Until every little worry ran through my head. I just got it together… I just found the boy I knew could GET me… I just figured my life out… The worry finally took over, and I found myself embracing the boy who had become my world, as tears soaked into his shirt. He told me it would be okay. Everyone told me it would be okay. I was sick of hearing that. I knew what was going to happen. I knew he would have to move home, 900 miles away. I knew my parents would force me to stay home. I knew the next however many months were going to be hell. I knew it the moment I read that email. I kept thinking “you’re all in denial”. I kept thinking they weren’t being realistic. But now, I think they were all thinking the same things I was. I was just the only one negative enough to vocalize it.
Many tears were shed that night, many pictures were taken, and many laughs were had. Once I went home, I didn’t know the next time I would see these people. The boys were driving back home the following Friday, and my heart sank. I got one day for final goodbyes. I wrote Nathan all these cliché “open when” letters for our upcoming long-distance relationship. I think it was more of a coping mechanism for me. I honestly think I was selfish enough to have written them more for myself than for him. I was trying to find closure. I didn’t know what the next 5 months were going to bring. My world was flipped upside down in a matter of minutes. We didn’t have time to devise a plan of action. We were kind of flying by the seat of our pants at this point, and I tried to stay positive. We obviously had to eat the greasiest food we could and share a good cry in my car before I had to leave. It was at the end of that day that he asked me to be his girlfriend. I know what you’re thinking… this whole time we still weren’t official? Nope. I thought the same thing… no shade though. So you’re telling me the first few minutes of us being a couple were spent bawling our eyes out and me driving 17 miles away only for him to drive 900 miles away 2 days later with no known time of him coming back? Yep. Heartbreaking isn’t it? Truly a tragic love story if you ask me.
The past two months have consisted of daily 6 hour long facetime calls, constant “I miss you” texts, and recently, just a tad less crying than before. Things really changed. I don’t know what the future holds. I sure hope he’s in it. He still continues to motivate me to this day, even from several states away, and he is my biggest supporter. Through all of this, I have lost a lot, but I have learned so much about myself, and this UF class has played a big part in it. Though UF 200 was a required course, I was generally not unhappy to be taking it. I believe ethics and diversity are perhaps one of the more important parts of our society, and I was anxious to learn more. Before the virus hit, I didn’t analyze the readings from this course very thoughtfully. They were meaningful, but not really to me personally. I thoroughly enjoyed each and every one of them, but they never really resonated. Until now. With courses going online, I was forced to consider everyone else’s situation. Some have been much less fortunate than others. Ethically speaking, I think Professor Hitesman has been the most understanding thus far. It’s quite fitting that she knows how diverse each student’s situation is, and she took that into account from the very beginning. Other professors, however, did not. I found myself with an even bigger workload than before, and as a STEM major, it is nearly impossible to learn these things online. My grades have never been worse, and I’m actually TRYING!
Throughout the past few weeks of discussion boards, I have learned so much about my peers. They all have been affected differently, and I have a soft heart for each and every one of them. The entire world has been affected by COVID-19, and I believe it is of the utmost importance to consider individual situations. This course has given myself and my peers a greater ability to analyze the world around us, stop taking things for granted, and know that although people are different from ourselves, the relationships you can form with them might surprise you.
Note: This article is part of The Blue Review’s Coronavirus Conversations, a special series on the 2020 COVID-19 pandemic.
About the artist: Brilynne Funderburg was raised in Meridian, Idaho and is a Games, Interactive Media, & Mobile Technology major at Boise State University. When she has free time, she enjoys drawing, playing video games, and cuddling with her dog.